So I woke up even more gutted–after dreaming that our baby would be ugly or dumb or not right because of me–and LATE for my appointment with VW. Thankfully I fell back asleep at 5am, but had bad dreams the whole time. What the hell was this guy even like? Does it matter? What if he’s weird? What if our baby was strange looking? Dreams of just my fears basically…that we’re just not good enough…perhaps we aren’t.
Maybe I should break down and buy the baby photo of the donor? I had wanted to wait to see if it worked with him, but maybe I should just buy it. But then I probably can’t even afford it at this point…
To add to the current state of turmoil, VW called and said that my car needs just short of a miracle. Jettie’s water pump has crapped out, causing the need for a new timing belt and serpentine belt as well because…well why not right? So how the hell am I supposed to do that?
But if there’s one thing I know in this life–it’s that I can count on Jettie to get me out of a jam when the going gets tough. I may need that car to blaze across the sky. She (well her sister) didn’t let us down, well okay she kinda let us “down” but ohhhhh so gently in our roll-over wreck in Phoenix. Most people probably wouldn’t walk out of a traumatic wreck like that and go buy almost the same exact car, but I did. I was married to that car. She saved the only thing that I cared about in the world…Mariela.
I feel indebted to that car. She’s stronger than I am. She did what I couldn’t–what I failed to do. After seeing the sunroof smash into the sand and the hi-fidelity car stereo screaming Stevie Nicks’ I hear there’s trouble in Shangri-La cut off…I thought that my life was over. I couldn’t see a thing. The dust was so thick…but when I reached out and met Mariela’s hand grabbing for mine, I just knew that it would all be okay. Jettie had saved us, no two ways about it. We walked away with only one small scratch on my arm and a bruise on M’s shoulder. I think, it was the most incredible day of my life.
But then, I was taught to live for raw emotions and adrenaline. Hence, I would probably be a lousy parent.
But in honor of my Jettie…laid up in the service bay today…a short film, of the photo roman genre, we created about the trials of transportation…very fitting for a day like today:
Moto Mirage from CopyCatFilms on Vimeo.
I love you Jettie…we’ll ride again…soon!
